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On any day, in any early childhood or primary classroom, any of the following scenarios might occur:
Lamar, whose parents have just separated, is crying because he left his mittens at his dad's house during his visitation weekend.
Vanessa is scared because her best friend Jessica's hair is falling out, and she doesn't understand why their mommies are always talking about doctors.
Mario is arguing with Alyssa. He says, "There is no such thing as two mommies. My mommy and meemaw told me that."
Sarah asks Jorge why his brother makes weird noises and walks and talks funny.
* Sue Ann's mom tells you that Sue Ann's grandmother, who has been her only babysitter since birth, has died suddenly of a heart attack.
* Jonathan has been having a rough time paying attention lately. You discover that his dad has recently been deployed to Iraq.
* James announces that he's afraid of the new boy because his skin is brown.
These topics and others-including bullying, family diversity, homelessness, disabilities, and incarceration-are often referred to as tender topics. They can be difficult for us to explain to or discuss with children.
In our work with children, families, and teachers, we have seen that it is not necessarily the topic that makes conversations difficult, but who we are as individuals that determines our comfort level in addressing these subjects.
It is important to view tender topics not as problems, but as subjects that are part of the everyday lives of children and families. However, some might see these topics as problems because children and adults don't know how to approach them, and are uncomfortable talking about them.
For example, at the first grade open house for families, you learn that Dashawn's dad is blind and uses a companion dog named Candy. You might not know how to address Dashawn's dad. Children may have questions or make comments, and you might not know how to respond. Is it okay to explain to the children what it means to be blind? What should you do when the children approach Candy? Using families as resources is one excellent way to get some of these answers, and if they feel comfortable, families might also help you by visiting the children to...