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While I was serving as a stake high councillor, a Latter-day Saint woman confided inme, "Bones heal faster." She spoke with the authority of a victim of both physical and emotional abuse. When I confidentially shared her comment with the director of a mental health clinic, he affirmed thatmany abused women would validate the woman's statement.1 Popular opinion notwithstanding, verbal abuse is harder to live with than physical abuse, can be more oppressive than being beaten, and leaves deeper scars.2
History and Prevalence
Family violence always has been of some societal concern, but public acknowledgment in the United States was rare until about 1960.3 Feminist geographer Joni Seager calls domestic violence "the most ubiquitous constant in women's lives around the world. There is virtually no place where it is not a significant problem, and women of no race, class, or age are exempt from its reach."4 As public discourse about domestic violence rose with the feminist movement, it also became a matter of increasing concern to religious leaders, as well as to social organizations and civil governments. Now, spousal abuse is recognized as a major public health issue in the United States, Britain, Canada, and France, as well as in most other nations.5 Domestic violence perpetrated on women has become an issue in all major religions, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam, and Hinduism.6 LDS general authorities have expressed rising concern about abuse in LDS families, with public pronouncements reaching a crescendo during President Gordon B. Hinckley's administration.
Nature
Abuse is an ugly word for ugly acts of violence, especially when directed against family members. It is uglier still when perpetrated by Christians who espouse the Savior's gospel of love. LDS general authorities have given most prominent attention to the evils of child abuse, but in the 1970s they became increasingly vocal about spousal abuse-both physical and emotional. I have chosen to focus on emotional abuse of wives for several reasons: to narrow the focus of this paper; because it is a major concern voiced by general authorities; because the topic concerned me throughoutmore than three decades of local priesthood leadership; because I have witnessed the devastating emotional, physical, and spiritual effects upon victims; and finally because, inmy view, emotional abuse is greatly under-recognized in the...