From domestic violence to coercive control: Towards the recognition of oppressive intimacy in the Family Court

Headnote

Abstract

Domestic violence is a gendered pattern of interaction that is increasingly viewed as a serious problem in Aotearoa New Zealand. However, a tendency to rely on the domestic violence paradigm (Stark, 2007) means that physical violence, rather than coercive control, is often seen as the defining feature of oppressive family relationships. Through an in-depth examination of a case study selected from 32 interviews collected as part of two projects on post-separation care arrangements, this article investigates the value of coercive control for redefining the aggressive pursuit by controlling fathers' of 50:50 shared care as a pattern of paper abuse (Miller & Smolter, 2011).

Introduction

Over the last twenty years there has been increasing acknowledgement of the dark side of family life in Aotearoa New Zealand. Typically equated with violence, experiences of the dark side of family life have been shown to be widely distributed across New Zealand households (see below). While investigations of and interventions into family violence1 are vital, it is also important to investigate the problems that arise out of making violence the defining feature of oppressive family relationships.

This paper takes up this task through an examination of the struggle middle-class, often Pakeha women face as they attempt to gain recognition by the Family Court of the oppressive nature of their relationships with the father of their children. Many of these women have been subjected to the more subtle and less socially censured tactics of psychological abuse and control by their middle class former partners, men who are linked culturally with civility, respectability, and progressive family practices. I begin by outlining the extent of the problem New Zealand has with domestic violence and factors that have contributed to its recognition as a social problem. I then turn my attention to the work of Stark (2007) on coercive control. The discussion of coercive control prepares the way for an in-depth examination of paper abuse ? the extension of coercive control into the arena of post-separation legal contests ? a discussion that is pursued in the first instance through the examination of a case study.

Family violence as a social problem

There is no doubt that family violence is a significant social problem in Aotearoa New Zealand. Some sense of the relative...