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Abstract
This study examined the subjective experiences of ambition, aggression, and inhibition in a small group of female psychotherapists. A review of the relevant research indicates a dearth of qualitative inquiries into the experiences of internalized misogyny in female psychotherapists. The present study explored the experience of pursuing professional ambitions, through the process of attending and completing graduate training and realizing professional goals, in part to better understand the role of internalized misogyny in professional women. Participants were eight women between the ages of 29 and 64 years old. These women participated in semi-structured interviews, wherein they reflected upon their experiences in graduate school. Interpretive Phenomenological Analysis was utilized to identify salient themes. This researcher identified 17 themes from the interview material, and they were categorized into four domains: Self-perception and identity; Relationship to ambition and competition; Separation-individuation; and Interactions with misogyny.
The results suggest that difficulties with insecurity and self-doubt co-exist with feelings of competence for the female psychotherapist. The results also suggest that female therapists hold ambivalent feelings in the realms of aggression and competition, signaling conflicts around ambition that manifest in inhibition. In looking at the experience of pursuing graduate training, this researcher found that themes of separation were central to female therapists as they gained professional independence. In addition, participants illuminated the detrimental role that misogyny played in their self-esteem, as they described their experiences of feeling silenced and devalued by others. Ultimately, this researcher found that female therapists worked hard to access their intuition and voice, and used these assets towards staking a claim for themselves, professionally and personally.
