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ABSTRACT: As attachment parenting has become more popular, many feminists condemn it as fundamentally oppressive to mothers. Their critique is based on misinterpretation and misrepresentation of attachment theory, the neuro-psychological body of research that underlies attachment parenting. In contravention of the great weight of scientific evidence, many feminists downplay the nurturance needs of young children as a defensive measure against the neo-conservative backlash against changing women's roles. Mothers and their children would be better served by a feminist articulation of a real family values agenda that calls for society to support fathers and mothers engaged in the socially meaningful work of child-rearing.
KEY WORDS: Attachment parenting, attachment theory, feminism, family values, child-rearing, nurturing.
INTRODUCTION
It is not my child who has purged my face from history and herstory.. .Not my child, who in a way beyond all this, but really of a piece with it, destroys the planet daily, and has begun on the universe...We are together, my child and I. Mother and child, yes, but sisters really, against whatever denies us all that we are -Alice Walker (1979).
I am a feminist. I am also a mother, and do not wish to think of myself as one who has betrayed feminist principles by staying home with my son and practicing the bogeywoman of feminist motherhood-attachment parenting. This essay is my attempt to rehabilitate attachment parenting from a feminist perspective and restore to new mothers the freedom to practice it without fear that they are pawns in a neo-traditionalist conspiracy (Ingman, 2006).
ATTACHMENT PARENTING
Attachment parenting is a collection of highly nurturing infant care techniques that promote attachment and bonding between the infant and her primary caregivers. These techniques include natural childbirth, homebirth or rooming-in, demand breastfeeding, co-sleeping in a family bed, child-led weaning, responsiveness to crying (as opposed to leaving the baby alone to "cry it out"), and "babywearing" (carrying the baby in a close-fitting sling or carrier rather than leaving the baby in a bouncy seat or crib for long periods of time). No single element is necessarily critical, and many parents choose to practice some techniques and not others.
For many new parents, attachment parenting affirms their instinctual desire to keep their newborns snuggled up close. When your mother-in-law cannot...