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Carnes, Patrick J. (1997). The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships. Deerfield Beach, FL.: Health Communications.
I finished reading The Betrayal Bond with mixed feelings, the overriding one being true enjoyment. My enjoyment came from reading something interesting, from learning things that I did not know, and from my relief at not having had to exert myself in the process. I did feel a twinge of discomfort at some statements that were discordant and that detracted from an otherwise humane, logical, and compassionate book. I also experienced a sense of disappointment because I believe that the author should have aimed the book at a totally different audience.
The title of the book itself is a finding. What better words to describe the subject matter,-that is, the pain, shame, anguish, and rage caused by relationships in which one person exploits the other. The book is exceedingly well written in simple language, mercifully free of professional jargon. The sentences are short, the points made clearly and succinctly, yet the reader does not feel talked down to. The Betrayal Bond is well organized, and its topics flow smoothly. The author comes across as genuinely honest, insightful, compassionate, and very experienced in his field. The reader is often left with the thought, "Gee! I knew that but did not know how to put it into words."
The book begins with the description and discussion of exploitive and traumatic bonds, followed by a chapter about the impact and effect of various kinds of trauma on people. The effects of trauma and the various unhealthy ways in which people cope with it are beautifully described. The chapter ends with a traumatic stress index worksheet. I...