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Regret
According to the Oxford American College Dictionary (2007), regret is defined as, "feeling sad, repentant, or disappointed over something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity, used in polite formulas to express apology for or sadness over something unfortunate or unpleasant" (p.1150). Often times, we regret what we have done, sometimes we regret the circumstances in which we did something, and sometimes we regret what we did not do. According to Raikka (2004), regret resembles such emotions as guilt, shame, sorrow, disappointment and remorse, but it is not reducible to any of these terms. In a sense, "regret itself is a punishment" (p.2). Our regrets are a form of self-betrayal, a momentary lapse in judgment, in which we don't remain true to ourselves, abandoning our values and hurting the people we love most. In counseling, we often encounter individuals who are suffering from regret over their bigger life decisions.
Regret can be philosophically examined through a Choice Theory lens, and people who are struggling with regret can be assisted in overcoming it through a Reality Therapy approach. In addition, our regrets can lead us toward turning inward and living more authentic, fuller lives. Our regrets bring with them an opportunity to reinvent ourselves.
Choice Theory
Our basic psychological needs include: survival, love and belonging, power, fun, and freedom (Glasser, 1998). It is important to recognize that the ways in which people choose to meet these needs is interconnected, as well as oppositional. Glasser (2000) explains the Quality World as "detailed memory pictures of people, things, and systems of belief that have satisfied our basic needs better than anything else" (p.78). Therefore, our Quality World Pictures overlap as well as contradict each other. For example, a woman might be working at a job where all of her basic needs are being met. However, this job is also taking her away from spending time with her husband and children. Tough decisions have to be made regarding how we go about getting our needs met and often times when our needs are at odds, it leads to regret.
Survival
In my estimation, death and regret are interconnected (Cameron, 2005). The examination of one of these factors seems to lead to the...