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Ambiguity surrounds virginity loss as defined and interpreted by young people in the contemporary United States. Drawing on in-depth case studies of 61 women and men of various sexual orientations, ages 18 to 35, 1 explore the influence of that ambiguity on conduct and identity. Although uniformly agreeing that virginity loss could occur through first coitus, most respondents claimed that other kinds of genital sex could also sometimes result in virginity loss. Many argued that virginity could not be lost through rape. Respondents offered three primary interpretations of virginity-as a gift, stigma, or part of a process-which were associated with distinctive presentations of self, choices of virginity-loss partner, and contraceptive practices. Different definitions and interpretations of virginity loss gave distinctive shape to individuals' choices about the transitions from virgin to nonvirgin identity. Understandings of virginity loss were further patterned by gender and sexual orientation.
What do we mean when we talk about sex? At the turn of the twenty-first century in the United States, there exists no single answer to this question. Different individuals and social groups attach diverse meanings to sexual activity, variously understanding sex as an expression of intimacy, a route to physical pleasure, or a sacred part of marriage. People even disagree about which sexual acts constitute "real" sex, as became apparent during the 1998 independent council investigation of President Clinton, in which classifying certain sexual activities as sex or as foreplay was a major point of contention. In short, the meaning of the term sex is ambiguous in the contemporary U.S. Because sexuality comprises a central part of personal identity, what sex means matters profoundly to the women and men who must negotiate their sexual lives in an atmosphere of diverse beliefs. It is also consequential for researchers who study sexual attitudes and conduct, and for policy makers who seek to address sexuality-related issues.
The experience of virginity loss offers one vantage point from which to explore the ambiguity surrounding sex and the consequences of that ambiguity for personal identity. Societal concerns about sexuality often crystallize around virginity loss, both because it is widely perceived as one of the most significant turning points in sexual life and because of the emphasis public health and policy professionals place on first coitus...