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I am still struggling to eliminate the schooled tension that I acquired in believing that every question has one right answer, so I am always waiting for the thinking to stop, for that one glorious, culminating second when I know the whole answer to one question. I have been relearning that moment will not come, at least not while I am in a thinking mode. I am also realizing that I must have learned to trust other thinkers or, at least, relearned to trust my own thinking. (Weber-Pillwax, 1999, pp. 44-45)
I begin with this passage because it best describes one of the major dilemmas I struggled with as I attempted to write an article on Indigenous research methodologies. I spent several weeks going through books, articles, and journals trying to find one good definition of Indigenous research methodology, and in the end I realized that I would not find a specific answer.
I am reminded of the words Walter Lightning (1992) used when he was working with the late Elder Art Raining Bird. He said to him in Cree,
Grandfather, I don't know how to do these things. I am trying to prepare the protocol but I realize that basically I don't know anything. As a matter of fact, I have no idea what I'm doing. Please, I implore you, have compassion for what I am doing. (p. 216)
Suddenly the task of writing this article seems a little overwhelming, and I wonder if perhaps I am doing something that I shouldn't be doing yet. As Lightning (1992) said, "I have no idea what I'm doing," but now that I am at this point I feel I must forge ahead. I have been taught that when I commit to do something, or even if I am asked to do something, then I must do it the best way I know how. I was reminded of this again just a few months back, at the 2002 Indigenous Scholars Conference, when Stan Wilson said, "When you are asked to do something, even something you might be uncomfortable with, you need to do it, and do it the best way you know how."
I am aware of the position I place myself in as I write...