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Think about the last time you were at dinner with a group of friends and you witnessed two people trying to talk through a tough issue. How did it go?
Think about the last time you were at dinner with a group of friends and you witnessed two people trying to talk through a tough issue. How did it go?
* Did they exchange opinions?
* Did they genuinely listen to and consider what one another had to say?
* Did they penetrate the heart of the matter?
* Did they talk past each other?
* Did they forge a new common understanding?
* Did they listen to respond – or listen to understand?
Listening to Respond vs. Listening to Understand
Last week, a friend and I were having a debate in the truest sense of the word. You might have even called it combative, a quarrel, a fight, or said we were “at war.” For topics with even the most modest amount of intensity, people tend to spend their time waiting for the first opportunity to offer their own opinions, conclusions, and point of view. In some ways, the send button is stuck, and the receive button is broken. Instead of listening, people are just reloading.
Author William Isaacs puts it really well: “The problems that even the most practical organizations have – in improving their performance and in obtaining the results they desire – can be traced directly to their inability to think and talk together, particularly at critical moments.”
At the heart of people engagement and the power of strategic thinking, is the practice of dialogue. The roots of the word dialogue come from the Greek words dia and logos. Dia means “through” and logos translates to “word” or “meaning.” In short, dialogue is the flow of meaning. Dialogue is the living experience of inquiry within and between people – a way of thinking and reflecting together.
The Power of True Dialogue
My writing partner and I really give into the topic of dialogue in our latest book on leadership because great leaders need to really understand the difference between one-way conversations and authentic, dialogue-rich conversations.
Dialogue in action works when:
* We listen respectfully to each other.
* We suspend the opinions of others and hard conclusions about the world around us.
* We bring out the intelligence of the individual and the group.
* We open up to fresh thinking about the challenges and possibilities around us.
You might not have even realized the power of real dialogue. However, when leaders focus on creating a workplace where listening to learn is the priority, great things can happen. Because when people have the opportunity to participate in real dialogue and are invited to co-think on how to address challenges and next steps for the business, they feel engaged. They feel they are important players in contributing to the success of their team and the organization as a whole.
Dialogue seeks to harness the collective intelligence of a small group of people because we are smarter together than we are alone. Creating a culture of dialogue can start with doing the following things:
* Get aligned on the most critical questions your team or organization must address to be successful in the future.
* Figure out where you need to disrupt or self-attack before competitors or customers do.
* Assess where you need to free up critical capacity and resources to get more of the right things done.
* Determine where you need to shift focus or markets to stay ahead of your industry curve.
Whatever it is in your business, the most insightful parts of the conversation are those neither party could have imagined before starting. It’s what comes of working together and really listening. We need to stop talking AT people and start talking WITH them and watch everything that changes. What’s your number one tip for really listening to your people?
Jim Haudan is a different kind of CEO, with a passion that goes beyond leading Root to success. For more than 20 years, he has been helping organizations unleash hidden potential by fully engaging their people to deliver on the strategies of the business. The impact of Root’s approach on so many people and organizations over two decades is captured in Jim’s national best-selling book, “The Art of Engagement: Bridging the Gap Between People and Possibilities” (McGraw-Hill, 2008).
Copyright HR.COM Mar 2019