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This article focuses on long-term grief of older bereaved parents within the context of the Israeli society. The themes that emerged in a group discussion with 29 elderly bereaved parents whose sons 7X:ere killed during military service support previous findings that the passage of time has no diminishing effect on parent.s grief or on relinquishing attachment to the deceased. Aging appears to increase internalized
involvement with the long-lost child, fears of fading memories, and the need to eternalize the deceased. In reviewing the past, parents reevaluate their coping with the loss and their relationship with the surviving children. The strong attachment seems to continue in external and inner representations of the lost child. In Israel, this preoccupation is enhanced due to society's attitude to dead soldiers, creating thereby an interface between society and bereaved families. The authors conclude that grief is a central theme in aging parents, and the term "aging of grief" is suggested to describe the course that grief and its many aspects may take with the passage of time.
During the 50 years of Israel's existence, it has experienced four wars and many military actions and terrorist attacks. Out of a population of less than 6 million, more than 18,000 young Israelis were killed. With the increasing number of fallen soldiers, a "bereavement culture" has emerged that reflects the emphasis society accords to the loss of its youth. Each death is regarded as a sacrifice, and the associated sense of heroism confers an existential meaning at the national and personal levels.
The term "family of the bereaved" embodies this attitude and is used to refer to those directly affected by the loss of loved ones in military action. Memorialization and commemoration are concrete expressions of grief, as well as the raising of monuments, a personal memorial day, and the establishment of a National Memorial Day. The Israeli society has developed various collective representations as part of the meaning attached to the death of its sons in combat (Malkinson & Witztum, in press), thus establishing a relationship between personal and national bereavement. The purpose of this article was to study long-term grief in older bereaved parents within the context of Israeli society.
Recent findings show that bereaved parents whose sons...