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Adecade ago, Michael Foster went to his GP after a long period of anxiety and depression had led him to stop feeling altogether. The headteacher had no emotional reactions, regardless of what was happening around him.
"I was literally a zombie," says Foster*, 50. "I had always been aware there was something in the background that wasn't right, but I couldn't put my finger on it."
Once, he remembers cycling home at the end of term and having a fleeting spurt of joy about the holiday ahead of him. "I smothered it immediately," he says. Although he could function at work, life was difficult. The numbness affected his relationships with his wife and four teenage children. His anxiety would regularly wake him up before 4am, and he lacked energy and motivation. A mental health assessment returned surprising results: he was displaying symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
"I haven't served in the forces or experienced anything like what you associate with those extreme situations," says Foster.
"But I was in a very long-term predicament. I had learnt to put on an act to cope with everything."
He had two rounds of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and took antidepressants, which failed to work. Then, a therapist suggested he try Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a form of psychotherapy where the patient revisits traumatic moments while moving their eyes rapidly from side to side. A therapist does this either by tapping them or guiding their vision with a moving object. The theory is that by processing these memories while their attention is distracted, the patient becomes less distressed by them.
Unorthodox as it sounds, EMDR is now being embraced by mainstream psychologists and therapists, and it is available on the NHS (though waiting lists are long). It has proven results as a treatment for conditions including PTSD, anxiety, depression, phobias, chronic pain and panic disorders.
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