Compersion in Consensually Nonmonogamous Relationships: A Grounded Theory Investigation

Abstract

This dissertation qualitatively investigates how individuals experience compersion in consensually nonmonogamous (CNM) relationships. Compersion is defined as “the feeling of taking joy in the joy that others you love share among themselves, especially taking joy in the knowledge that your beloveds are expressing their love for one another” (Ritchie & Barker, 2006, p. 585). This study invokes grounded theory research methods to gather data from 17 semi-structured, in-depth interviews with questions related to CNM relationships and individuals’ compersion experiences. Two overarching research questions guide the study. First, how do individuals in CNM relationships experience compersion? Second, what factors impact one’s compersion experience? Coded data yielded three major themes that illuminate how individuals in CNM relationships experience compersion: empathic joy, gratitude for benefits derived from a partner’s other relationship(s), and compersion as dynamic, fluid, and on a spectrum. Three types of factors (individual, relationship, and social) were then found to impact one’s compersion experience. Individual factors include an ideological commitment to CNM values & mindset, and security and comfort within oneself. Relational factors include themes of security & connectedness within relationship(s), positive integration of partner’s other relationship(s), and perception of outside relationship(s) as additive to individual and relationship satisfaction. Interviewees discussed coming into community as the primary social factor impacting compersion. This dissertation, based on rich qualitative data, presents a novel theoretical model that deepens scholarly understandings of compersion. Further, I suggest that compersion needs to be redefined for uses in both CNM relationships and other relational contexts, providing two useful definitions for future use. Overall, this study’s findings may support CNM individuals in increasing relationship satisfaction and foster a better understanding of compersion. I also argue that understanding compersion is an important step toward dismantling mononormativity by challenging the assumption that jealousy is the only valid response to extradyadic intimacy.