Global Voices - Global Voices Online: An Iranian gay photographer's journey of survival

The story of Ashkan Shabani, the person behind the lens

Originally published on Global Voices

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A self-portrait. Since his identity as a gay man was discovered, Ashkan Shabani's life has been in danger, with his parents pursuing him to kill him in order to preserve their honor. Photo by Shababi. Used with permission.

Ashkan Shabani shared his personal journey as an Iranian photographer and a member of the LGBTQ+ community in a Zoom interview with Global Voices. He also shared some of his experiences within the community while residing in Turkey. Selected photos are showcased throughout the article, providing a visual representation of his journey. This interview has been edited for clarity.

In 2020, as the world battled to survive the COVID-19 pandemic, Ashkan Shabani faced his own battle for survival.

For 13 years, he concealed his true identity as a gay man, living in secrecy, with his family in Iran. However, the delicate balance shattered when his father discovered him with his boyfriend of eight years. What followed was a nightmare, transforming his life from unfulfilled duplicity to a desperate fight for survival. He was faced with two options: a mental institution or death.

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A self-portrait of Ashkan and his partner in a serene place in the northern jungles of Iran by the Caspian Sea. Photo provided by Shabani. Used with permission.

I hadn't seen my boyfriend in a long time due to the quarantine restrictions, and in a moment of misjudgment, I made a grave mistake. I invited him over, knowing that my parents were not at home.

My father returned home earlier, catching us both off guard. Shock and panic surged through me. I instinctively urged my boyfriend to run for his safety.

My father's fury erupted, and he beat me mercilessly. At 26 years old, I felt powerless to stop him. Growing up with relentless beatings and constant humiliation made finding the courage to fight back incredibly challenging.

My father presented me with two choices: commit myself to a mentalinstitution where I would be subjected to electroconvulsive therapy to cure my homosexuality, or face death.

I chose to flee.

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A projection of executed gay men in Iran....