‘They Yell and I Yell Back’ Pre-schoolers’ Descriptions of Conflict Laden Interactions at Home

Abstract

Over the past 50 years, extensive research has been published on the parent–child relationship and parenting. However, there are very few examples where young children are at the centre of attention for describing family dynamics, relationships and conflicts. This study aimed at addressing this research and knowledge gap through exploring the emotional and relational experiences of preschool children whose parents attended a universal parenting programme. Seventeen preschool children aged 3–6 were interviewed, using an emotion-focused, pictorial-based computer assisted interview method. The children’s descriptions of their family relationships were analysed using qualitative content analysis. The children described negative interplay within the families in rich detail, especially experiences where conflicts with parents escalated and were left unresolved. Moments of positive family interactions were described as well, but they were heavily overshadowed by the narratives containing negative parenting. The children also described compensatory behaviours, such as looking for comfort from siblings or pets. The narratives in this study gave a unique insight into the emotional and relational domestic context of children in families seeking universally offered parenting support. Given adequate tools and support, children as young as 3 or 4 years old could provide extensive information about their lives. We urge future research examining parenting or family interventions to include the children’s perspectives.