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Publication: Harvard Political Review, , Harvard University , Cambridge, MA
I’ve undergone a kind of case study since coming here last August. When I arrived, I had pink hair so bright that the Class of 2027 photo resembles a Where’s Wally game. But I was hit with a disastrous gene: male pattern baldness. Gone went the pink, out of fear that I was damaging the precious hairline that was beginning to recede. Gone, too, it seemed, was the respect for the fact that I might not conform to all male stereotypes.
There was a marked difference in the way that people treated me — especially from those in or allied with the queer community. I felt as if I were no longer a member of an in-group, as if I’d now been flung back out into the “normal” public.
A part of this change was refreshing — and not just because CVS had been extorting me for pink hair dye. I was faced with fewer stereotypes. Fewer weird looks from people walking through campus. Fewer assumptions about who I was, how I would act, and what political opinions I might hold. No longer was I the worst nightmare of a Fox News anchor.
But there has been a more frustrating element. Since donning the forbidden natural hair, people have felt no shame in applying more male stereotypes to me — in assuming that I approach friendship and relationships like most men or that my brain functions in some essentially male way.
What frustrated me most, though, was who made these assumptions. It wasn’t the traditional, masculine men wanting to welcome me back into the fold, so to speak; it was the progressives who were supposedly on my side. And increasingly, it was the queer community.
The creation of a strong community has been essential to combating discrimination. It allows queer people not only to form a kind of alliance with others but to learn the appropriate tools to fight prejudice. For some, this may involve scolding the offender as their mother would; you sit them down and tell them that what they said was wrong and ignorant and offensive. Objectively,...