The Impact of Considering the Child’s Expressed Wishes in High-Conflict Custody

Abstract

High-conflict custody disputes have complex factors to consider when making post-separation parenting arrangements. In the United States, top factors include safety, the best interest of the child, and the child’s expressed wishes. Correlates to these factors include domestic and intimate partner violence, dominating and coercive control, interparental communication, undue influence, and the emotional well-being of the child. When interparental conflict reaches a level where effective communication and co-parenting are not viable, courts appoint sole custody to one parent. In these situations, custody decision-makers prioritize the child’s expressed wishes without considering these important correlates. This strategy puts children in the middle of conflict, which predisposes them to developmental trauma. This resource development program provides opportunities to repair relationships with self and others through a healing-centered engagement, adaptive leadership, and a Christian missional worldview approach focusing on abundant love. This method also allows for promoting collective health in individuals, families, and communities by decreasing the overall risk of substance abuse and generational and community violence and by promoting spiritual well-being through the prevention and treatment of complex trauma. Finally, this technique allows children to be free to love and honor both parents as God commands.