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AREN'T you tired of pretending you like bits of paper stuck to cardboard, a pathetic hand-drawn picture of you that shows a last oasis of hair on your desert-like skull, boxer underpants with Dad all over them or even worse, the exploding golf ball?
As usual, this column has the answer.
I know it's late, but simply leave this page open on your partner's side of the bed. She will quickly realise the error of her ways and you'll end up with real Father's Day presents.
So here they are: the world's greatest Father's Day presents, compiled by international experts (Pitstop's Andrew Stevens and your correspondent).
DVDs
Le Mans: As movie website IMDb says "Steve McQueen takes you for a drive in the country. The country is France. The drive is at 200mph (320km/h)." This is the movie that would cure the drugs in sport problem. Simply push it in, turn it on and you're not on this planet. And if you are a genuine Steve McQueen fan, remember the Bonhams November 11 McQueen auction in Los Angeles. $29.95
Rendezvous: Eight minutes of petrol...