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the great mystery story is still unsolved, we cannot even be sure that it has a final solution. [A Einstein & Leopold Infeld: The Evolution of Physics]
+ Forgive me, I had no choice, I begged him, Ladies, I even promised to guide the knife, his first time, professional initiation, never a question of manhood, just some real good stimulation, a little help with ignition, I didn't take it for granted just because I was at Ludlow's Smoker's Palace after hours, an obvious invitation, the way I traipse, I'm rightfully accused of asking for it, how else to make sure I get it, noisy wheel syndrome, but my it is a killing, martyr-dumb thing or not, if he's killing me, he's not killing you, so my being on corners is a protection service, and as soon as I'm dead, I won't be there anymore to deflect violations and assassinations onto myself, enjoy it now, pay later, me and my beefed up preference, beefed up refusal to let go of Aileen Wuornos, flip side, inside out side, of one of many kinds of prostitution, rhymes with constitution for a reason, some necessity, some choice, power of, power over a consenting body, power of, power over an antibody, some daring workers work out in advance what the signal will be for arrival at an unspeakable limit, nonverbal signs for no and stop, hard to misread universal, in addition to face turning blue, eyes rolling, heart stopping, nose bleeding, the most obvious can't-be-mistaken patriotism near death, frequently near death, a fight for freedom, best location in the nation, Ferguson, Baltimore, New York, Cleveland, just getting started, coming to a location near you, where it all converges, denouement, I can't really understand anymore the cowardly aspect of anyone going close to death and hesitating, coming back to where you were, as if you never left, coward, just the feet wet, there are these bruises, maybe these suggestions of psychosis, they can emerge when anything anyone can do is extended far enough, there's a path there, but I haven't...