Anti-Marriage Sentiments in To the Lighthouse (1927): Reasons & Reconciliations

Abstract

In Nineteenth century England the institution of marriage underwent radical changes. The deplorable status of married women had threatened the very basis of the institution of marriage. Consequently, anti-marriage sentiments crept into society, and by the end of the century majority of women preferred to live single; rather than to marry. This study attempt to evaluate Woolf's Anti-marriage stance, and analyzes her arrangements for the reconciliation to the situation.

Headnote

Abstract

In Nineteenth century England the institution of marriage underwent radical changes. The deplorable status of married women had threatened the very basis of the institution of marriage. Consequently, anti-marriage sentiments crept into society, and by the end of the century majority of women preferred to live single; rather than to marry. This study attempt to evaluate Woolf's Anti-marriage stance, and analyzes her arrangements for the reconciliation to the situation.

Keywords: Virginia Woolf, To The Lighthouse (TTL), Anti-marriage

Introduction

You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don't think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. (...) What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that - everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness (Woolf in a letter to Leonard).

Undoubtedly, this letter shows Woolfs profound emotional attachment with her husband. They did not have children, due to Woolf precarious health, but they did enjoy each moment of life together. They not only shared the warmth of their relation, but also the creative genius. According to Goldman (2006), Woolfs "marriage to Leonard was as ever emotionally central, comfortable, and conducive to her creative productivity, as well as to her intellectual reflection and relaxation" (p. 21). However, it is strange to notice that such a profound devotee of her husband's love would draw characters who uphold anti-marriage sentiments. Woolfs letter is an evidence of her deep-rooted understanding and appreciation of her marriage life. However, it is a wonder why would Woolf let Lily to live an unmarried life, when she herself experienced a splendid married life. This paper attempts to analyze the reasons and reconciliations for anti-marriage sentiment, with reference to To The Lighthouse (1927). Nevertheless, before any effort is made to embark on any analysis of Woolf stance toward anti-marriage, a retrospective view of the developments in the institution of marriage during Nineteenth century will be helpful.

In Nineteenth century marriages were considered to be "natural and expected role" (Mitchell, 2009, p.265) of a woman, because "it satisfied her instinctual needs, preserved the species, provided appropriate duties, and protected her from the shocks and dangers of the rude, competitive world" (Mitchell, 2009, p.266). Hence, marriage has become a deciding factor of a "woman's entire future" (Mitchell, 2009, p.267). However, due to certain reasons many complications had crept into the marriage contract. Which gave rise to numerous problems; hence, the institution of marriage became a hotbed of multitudinous social evils. Marriage became a curse for woman; she preferred to remain single, and by the end of the century "among the professional classes one-third of all women may have remained single" (Mitchell, 2009, p.267).

To the Lighthouse (1927) is a novel that unravels Woolfs understanding of the social evolution of the institution of marriage. The novel presents two definite and distinctive approaches to marriage life from the perspective of two dissimilar feminine ideals. Mrs. Ramsay; a representative of by gone life of Victorian England, symbolizes an ideal marriage life, and truest companionship. On the contrary, Lily, a representative of a new epoch, epitomizes an antimarriage feminine ideal.

Mrs. Ramsay, apparently, enjoys a very smooth marital life. Mr. Ramsay is a great admirer of her Hellenic beauty, and her sight "fortified him and satisfied him" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 53). She is a motherly figure; lives in "a welter of children" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 35), and "would have liked always to have had a baby. She was happiest carrying one in her arms" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 90).

Mrs. Ramsay is a great advocate of marriage, and to her "whatever laurels might be tossed (...), or triumphs won (...), there could be no disputing this: an unmarried woman has missed the best of life" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 77). With this self-imposed duty of correcting the lives of people, she successfully fabricates Minta and Paul's match, while Lily and William's marriage never becomes a reality, for which she is always sorry. Irrespective of seemingly joyful interludes, Mr. and Mrs. Ramsay's marriage is marred with a number of implicit episodes of meltdown. According to Lee (1977), "at a realistic level it appears that the Ramsays' marriage was an incompatible union between unsatisfactory characters..." (p. 53)

Reasons for Anti-Marriage Sentiments

Woolf considers three major reasons for the failure of Victorian marriages in general, and Ramsays' marriage in particular. Firstly, women were not consulted at the time of formulation of the marriage contract, and still a greater misery was that that they were not considered mature enough to decide prudently. Marriages were settled without woman's consent. In nineteenth century, marriages were financial transactions. Marriages were used as means to gain power and wealth. Although, both, the bride and groom's, families tried to get maximum benefit from it, but it was the groom who would always have an upper hand. The bride, in this matter, was always the loser. Mrs. Ramsay had also been a victim of this insolent scheme, and she was too sorry for "her own transaction" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 92). Under such a transaction she laments the fact that she lived a strenuous life, when she could have lived it in "some simpler way, some less laborious way" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 14). For her, this transaction did not bear any fruit, rather has worsened her life. Her dissatisfaction, with her marriage, can be construed from the statement that she felt disturbed, to recall the experiences "which need not happen to" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 92). Because, she thinks that "she was driven on, too quickly she knew, almost as it were an escape for her too...''(Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 93). She disparages the marriage bond. She has suffered and she is preoccupied by the idea that Rose is "bound to suffer so" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 123) which, neither she nor Rose can alter. That is why for her marriage is not an easy task; rather "marriage needed (...) all sorts of qualities" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 93).

Secondly, woman's submissive behavior had paved the way for malicious treatment from their husbands. Subjection to husband's authority, was a failure of a married woman as a human being. Mrs. Ramsay's submissive attitude does not allow her to think of herself better or even "in comparison" to Mr. Ramsay, rather she considers herself inferior to him. Mrs. Ramsay herself acknowledges Mr. Ramsay's superiority, and wants the people to "know that of the two he was infinitely the more important, and what she gave the world, in comparison with what he gave, negligible" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 62). Repeatedly, Mr. Ramsay imposes his superiority, of gender and intellect, over her. "He is spoilt; he is tyrant; he wears Mrs. Ramsay to death", and would often cast "ridicule upon his wife" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 10). This ill-mannered treatment arise Mrs. Ramsay's emotional instability. Mrs. Ramsay is the most unaware of her emotional allegiance. At times Mrs. Ramsay nurture strongest feelings towards Mr. Ramsay and attributes deity like characteristics to her husband, who if "required sacrifices (and indeed he did) she cheerfully offered up to him" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 28) herself. However, she also experiences moments when "she could not understand how she had ever felt any emotion of affection for him". Mrs. Ramsay vacillates between her loyalty and infidelity to Mr. Ramsay, and at such moments of emotional betrayal, "all come(s) to an end" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 125) for her.

Thirdly, woman was not aware of her potential. She was not aware of herself. Nineteenth century marriages not only meant social, financial or legal slavery, but it killed the very ambition of one's life. It did not allow a woman to experience the challenges of the world and encounter her true self. Mrs. Ramsay, always nurture dreams of establishing "a model dairy and a hospital" and towards which "she did feel passionately" and "would have liked to do, herself' (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 89). However, the greater impediment or hindrance to achieve these goals is her marriage. She is so much infested by the duties of marriage that she is unable to experience her inner-self and materializes her "vision".

Reconciliation

Woolf not only portrayed the drastic picture of married women life, but also gave, or in other words envisaged, the remedy for it, which is explicit in the character portrayal of Lily Briscoe. Firstly, the success of a true relationship is envisioned in the principles of equality and mutual understanding. Secondly, the reconciliation is sought in the talent of creative expression of woman.

Woolf envisaged a form of relationship, free of marriage ties, which stands on purist ground, and without any sort of materialistic favors in mind. In Lily we see an attempt to escape from the shadows of nineteenth century. This Chinese eyed girl is "an independent little creature" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 29) and at no cost, would bargain her freedom with an unloving and uncaring individual. Lily's relationship with Mr. Bankes is a role model for the woman of early twentieth century. It is with Mr. Bankes that Lily feels perfect peace, and "his friendship had been one of the pleasures of her life" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 259). It is in Bankes that Lily found a true admirer of her art. They enjoyed mutual understanding and respect. They both travel and visit different parts of the country. Lily helps Mr. Bankes buying new carpet for the staircase. In them Woolf tried to portray a perfect relationship; a relation which can last for long without the shackles of marriage contract.

The dawn of twentieth century brought new demands and roles for woman. The age of slumber had passed and women of the new era embarked on the road of "spiritual awakening" and "imaginative expression" (Tuttle, 1915, p.53). This need for awakening and expression brought radical changes in woman's ideals. It was so dynamic that "nothing less than utter annihilation can restrain its expression" (Tuttle, 1915, p.50). According to Tuttle, woman "may discharge her racial duty as mother creator, and still fulfill a desire for other forms of creation...''(Tuttle, 1915, p.54).

Lily is an archetypal of the new awakened era. She discovers her expression of life and emotion in the realm of painting. She is very passionate about her work. She entertains craze for painting to the extent that she invest most of her time in painting. Bankes is amazed at her zeal for painting and appreciate her when she gets "up before breakfast and off to paint". This passion of her has engulfed her completely. She is so passionate about painting that she confesses, "she would always go on painting" for the simple reason that painting "interested her" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 110). Painting gives her energy, and she finds her confidence in her work. When Tansley vocalizes the taunting phrases, "Women can't paint, woman can't write", Lily fights the challenge and she achieves success.

Lily also enjoyed a sort of sexual gratification from her passion. Painting is a "form of intercourse" for Lily. It was during this "passage from conception to work" that she experience "few moments of nakedness". In the due course, she also experiences the ecstasy of creation and creator. She becomes "an unborn soul, a soul reft of body, hesitating on some windy pinnacle and exposed without protection to all the blasts of doubt" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 233).

As a woman, Lily is more self-aware of "her own inadequacy, her insignificance". These infirmities were once the hurdles in the way of her creativity. But, unlike Mrs. Ramsay, she is brave enough to fight "against terrific odds" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 32). At the times when women were discouraged by the slogans "women can't write, women can't paint", taking the first step was a great challenge. Both these talents and vocations laid great demands of time and finances on women. According to Woolf (2006), "a woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write" (A Room of Ones Own, p. 259). Like writing, painting required more than that, because it was like "out and out one went, further and further, until at last one seemed to be on a narrow plank, perfectly alone, over the sea" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 252). It brings one to the verge of isolation and takes the very consciousness of being. Yet, it also introduces one to new vistas and horizons of identity. Painting is not only Lily's passion, but also her reason to live and she finds her true self. It provides her pure satisfaction and enables her to be aware of her inner self. This revelation of her inner self would have been utterly impossible had she consented to Mrs. Ramsay's desires. For Lily marriage "was an odd road" (Woolf, 2006, To The Lighthouse, p. 252). The temptations and allurement were numerous to her, but she successfully ventured all and had her "vision" at last.

The discussion concludes at the point that Woolf was not only a woman-of-letters, but has also keen observers of social norms and changes. She suggests for women to change with the changing time, and adopt means through which they can assert themselves more eloquently.

References

References

Goldman, Jane. 2006. Cambridge Introduction to Virginia Woolf. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press

Lee, Hermione. 1977. The Novels of Virginia Woolf. London: Methuen & Co Ltd. 1977

Mitchell, Sally. 2009. Daily life in Victorian England. (2nd ed.).Westport: Greenwood Press.

Tuttle, Florence Guertin. 1915. The Awakening of Woman. New York: The Abingdon Press.

Woolf, Virginia. 2006. To the Lighthouse. (6th ed). England: Penguin Popular Classics.

Woolf, Virginia. 2012 Room of Ones Own. <www.picktorrent.Com. n.d. Web. 12 Mar. 2012>