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This article analyzes the relationships among four independent variables and the construct of codependency. Results indicate that shameproneness, self-esteem, and parentification are significantly related to codependent characteristics. Results also indicate that guilt-proneness is inversely related to codependency, reinforcing the hypothesis that codependency represents a shame-based, as opposed to a guilt-based, organization of the self. Treatment recommendations are offered related to alleviating shame, raising self-esteem, and resolving parentification.
Codependency is a construct that has gained both tremendous popularity and tremendous professional criticism over the past decade. In particular, among professionals, the construct often is dismissed as a social commentary, too overgeneralized to permit differential diagnosis or be useful for treatment planning (Brown, 1990; Collins, 1993).
The current authors, however, believe that codependency represents a meaningful grass-roots construct that was created to designate a predictable set of characteristics originally associated with spouses and children of alcoholics. Specifically, from its inception, numerous popular authors have associated codependency with such characteristics as shame and low self-esteem (e.g., Beattie, 1987, 1989; Bradshaw, 1988; WegscheiderCruse & Cruse, 1990; Whitfield, 1987).
Whitfield (1987) related codependency directly to internalized shame. He explained codependency as the development of a "false self," which he described as other-oriented, overconforming, and shame-based. He described shame as feeling bad about the "true" self, as a sense of "being" defective or intrinsically inadequate. This definition of shame is distinguished from guilt, which may be defined as feeling bad about "doing" something wrong or hurtful (Lewis, 1971). As shame is a sense of "badness" that leaves one feeling inadequate and hopeless (Fisher, 1985; Kaufman, 1989), it is understandably related to low self-esteem.
In addition to its proposed association with low self-esteem and shame, codependency has been related to extreme caretaking in relationships (Wells, Glickauf-Hughes, Bruss, 1998). Olson and Gariti (1993) proposed that codependency represents a parentified or caretaking style of relating to others that is learned in childhood. Miller (1981, 1984) describes how this pattern may develop. She notes that parents in shame-based families are often individuals who did not have their own dependency needs met in their families of origin. These needy parents, according to Miller, may attempt to get their needs met in their families of procreation, by enlisting their children to take care of them. This...