Content area
Full Text
I applaud Jamie Sussel Turner's use of the confrontation model with her staff members. In our schools, in our lives, not speaking to the heart of the issue with grace and skill costs us dearly. Speaking to the heart of the issue, addressing attitudinal and behavioral issues with grace and skill, and gaining clarity about where we need to go with our colleagues is essential and allows us to tackle and resolve our toughest challenges while enriching the relationship.
- Susan Scott
Nearly every school I've worked in has an "Anne" on its staff. Teachers talk about how Anne isn't the teacher she used to be. Parents don't want their children in Anne's class. Students walk on eggshells, careful not to upset her. Some principals talk with Anne about the problems they see, while others complain about Anne to their administrative colleagues and stick their heads in the sand, counting the years until she finally retires.
I know about the "Annes" in schools because I saw this scenario many times as a teacher and as a principal. This is one aspect of my leadership where I wish I had a do-over. Many times, I felt flustered with finding the right words to help this type of teacher. I once told a teacher she should consider retiring, and you can imagine how that went over!
The confrontation model outlined in Fierce Conversations became the key that opened the door to help me consider talking with Anne in a different way-a way that could enlist Anne in looking at the situation with me.
Here are the steps in the confrontation model:
* Name the issue.
* Select a specific example that illustrates the behavior or situation you want to change.
* Describe your emotions around the issue.
* Clarify why this is important - what is at stake to gain or lose.
* Identify your contribution to this problem.
* Indicate your wish to resolve the issue.
* Invite your partner to respond.
The confrontation model incorporates these seven steps into a 60- second opening statement. Susan Scott recommends that after expressing these words, you invite the other person to talk. You sit back and listen, digging for full understanding when you need to. I found...