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Robert Burns's poem, Death and Doctor Hornbook , written in 1785 and first published in 1787, tells of an encounter with Death, who is personified in the traditional form of the Grim Reaper. (I have used the version of the poem given in Kinsley's Oxford English Texts edition, but have spelled out or added the words represented there by euphemistic dashes.) 1 Told in well-constructed Standard Habbie stanzas, the narrative is skilfully sustained throughout its 31 verses. The vigorous vernacular and earthy wit of the poem makes it excellent material for recitation. It has also received considerable attention from scholars. Most volumes of Burns criticism make some mention of Death and Dr Hornbook as an outstanding example of his mastery of the comic, satirical genre. 2 3
Death and Doctor Hornbook tells the story of the narrator (who, for convenience, is here identified with the poet) walking home from the alehouse, somewhat intoxicated. He is frightened by an accidental meeting with Death but is quickly calmed by the Grim Reaper's assurance that he has not yet been chosen as a victim. The two disreputable companions sit down for a friendly chat. An epidemic pestilence has struck that part of the country but Death complains that his best endeavours are being so thwarted by the village 'doctor', the Hornbook of the title, that he is being laughed at by the local children. His scythe and dart, previously unerringly effective in ending human life, have been rendered useless:
But Doctor Hornbook , wi' his art
And cursed skill,
Has made them baith no worth a fart,
Damn'd haet they'll kill!
(The last two lines translate into Standard English as "Has made them both not worth a fart/Damned nothing they will kill.")
The poet laments that Johnnie Ged, the gravedigger, will be put out of work, if Hornbook's success continues. But Death immediately puts his mind at rest. No need to take the plough to the kirkyard yet, for Hornbook's medical interventions kill as many as they cure. Indeed Hornbook's strike rate exceeds that of Death himself. Death is confident, however, that his latest plot against Hornbook will succeed and the Doctor will soon be "dead as a herring". And so the two characters agree to go their...