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School counselors often have to give difficult news to parents, a process that can be stressful and troubling for everyone involved. While the reaction of each parent is unique, research indicates that many parents who have been given difficult news about their children feel that the information was delivered poorly. This article provides guidelines for the delivery of difficult news to parents, including strategies for appropriate preparation and follow-through.
School counselors are often in the position of giving difficult or troubling news to parents and other caregivers. Informing parents that their child is failing or has been involved in a behavioral incident at school or being part of a team that informs parents that their child has a disability requiring special education are tasks that are often part of the daily life of school counselors.
Communicating difficult news to parents or caregivers is an unpleasant and stressful task. Under the best of circumstances, parents come to school conferences wanting to hear good news about their children, yet often fearing they will hear something distressing (Lawrence-Lightfoot, 2003). Parents receiving difficult news about their child are likely to struggle with the competing desires to hear the truth but also resist the truth (Abrams & Goodman, 1998). Hearing difficult news about their children can result both in emotional distress (Heiman, 2002; Nissenbaum, Tollefson, & Reese, 2002) and physical distress (Heiman) for parents. The difficult nature of the interaction can lead to behaviors and reactions in both the giver and receiver of difficult news that impede productive communication and make it more difficult for parents to deal with the news in a proactive manner.
Research has indicated that recipients of difficult or troubling news often feel as if the news has been delivered poorly. For example, research consistently indicates that the majority of parents being informed that their child has a disability are dissatisfied or very dissatisfied by the way the news was presented to them (Quine & Rutter, 1994; Sloper & Turner, 1993). Parents receiving bad news from professionals have reported that some professionals appeared tense, hurried, distracted, and even took phone calls during the conversation (Ablon, 2000; Nissenbaum et al., 2002). In addition, parents often perceive that professionals do not present difficult news in a manner...