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Not only does having a child with a disability force women to change the fundamental practical concerns of everyday life; but it can also have a profound effect upon the way women see themselves as individuals. There is already a substantial body of research focussing on the concept of the "good mother" and intensive mothering ideology, that identifies particular expectations and assumptions that are socially and culturally imposed on women who become mothers. The nature of these expectations and assumptions often renders them impossible for individuals to meet, and this can, therefore, have significant impacts on an individual's life and sense of self.
My 2012 study on mothers of children with disabilities showed that there does exist a concept of the "good mother" specific to these mothers, but that this concept is an intensified and slightly varied and nuanced version of the traditional "good mother" concept already identified in existing literature. The "good mother of a child with a disability" concept is made up of the following five substantive expectations. Mothers of children with disabilities:
* are the primary caregivers to their children and will remain so for the rest of their lives
* are assumed to be naturally gifted with qualities that make them capable of indefinitely being the primary caregiver for their children
* are expected not to work outside the home in paid employment
* embody qualities and skills to enable them to optimally nurture their children (i.e. cooking, cleaning, being protective, and placing every one of the child's needs above their own) and
* maintain a façade of social "normality" in the sense that there is nothing particularly different about their mothering requirements compared to mothers of children without disabilities.
The internalisation of these ideals can both guide decisions these women make as mothers, and become a benchmark against which mothers judge themselves. The way mothers of children with disabilities wrestle with the good mother concept is complex-they may go out of their way to conform to it, but at the same time fiercely resist it.
Literature review
There is a vast amount of literature regarding the notion of identity in relation to mothers with disabilities (see Filax and Taylor), but less regarding the identity of mothers of children with disabilities....