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One day it occurred to me that I would feel a lot better if I got rid of the rapist. So I started fantasizing about killing the rapist. So what I did in my fantasy is I would get into the elevator and I would see the elevator door close, and there I am, I'm in there. I don't look at the rapist@ face, though, but I feel the situation. And then when I see the knife I reach my hand out and slowly get the knife away fi-om him. And then he sees me with the knife, and his eyes are really big and scared. And so I slowly take it and stab him, and then I stab him again, and I stab him and stab him until he is dead. And the elevator is a hell hole of blood spattered walls. So I look down at him and see that he is dead. And I reach up and push the button for the lobby, and the elevator goes down to the lobby. And when the door opens all the people in my building are in the lobby. And they see me standing there all bloody, and they applaud. And then they help me drag his bloody body into my apartment where I stack up all the parts to dry, and then at my leisure I shave off thin slices and put them in envelopes and mail them to all my friends who have been raped, with my condolences.
This revenge fantasy concludes Rape Stories, a 1989 autobiographical documentary film about the trauma of rape and the further trauma incurred through its representation. Margie Strosser, a white rape survivor and American filmmaker, is both the subject and the creator of this film. The film traces over a ten-year period her experience of the trauma of rape, including nightmares, phobias, fear of sex, avoidance of men, fear of empty public spaces-all characteristics of rape trauma syndrome-and ends with a revenge fantasy in which Strosser recasts the rapist as a victim and herself as the victor.1 This fantasy is a vivid example of how survivors translate private pain into public memory through the appropriation and reversal of culturally dominant rape scripts that presume women's passivity...