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The relationship in executive coaching
Edited by Erik de Haan and Charlotte Sills
Introduction
The purpose of this article is to elucidate and expand on what is meant by the term "relational" coaching. Left unexplained, the epithet is bland in the extreme; of course coaching is relational. What could not be relational about two people sitting in a room talking to one another? Life is relational. [14] Heidegger (1978) identifies "Being-in-the-World-with-Others" as one of the core existential truths, and as [20] Sartre (1955)said: "Hell is other people"; like it or not, we cannot easily get away from being in relationship.
However, we (that is I and my colleagues at Ashridge Consulting)[1] mean something rather specific by "relational", which is not just qualitative. In other words we are not talking just about a "good" relationship, where people observe the social conventions of politeness and consideration, or going further, listen well to one another, take the ethics of mutual respect, diversity, justice and so forth really seriously. Of course such ethical principles are important and it is usually important to be polite, although not always.
"Relational" in this context means, for us, acknowledging the inherently mutual nature of all social process, and therefore prioritising the importance of the co-created, "here-and-now" relationship as the central vehicle for development and transformation.
This article elaborates on how we are using this word "relational". I am not attempting to create a theoretical integration, provide a theoretical critique, or articulate a specific method; rather I have selected a number of perspectives from different fields of theory and research, which I think are broadly compatible, to support my claim that relational dynamics are core to effective coaching practice.
Coaching is an activity that usually takes a dyadic form, with the coach being primarily contracted to be in service of his or her individual client. I start therefore with a psychological perspective, as it seems important to "ground" a discussion of such a process in a basic understanding of human need and human personality. This itself is radical in the sense that coaching is normally located in a business context, or at least one where efficiency and effectiveness take precedence over psychological considerations.
Most psychological approaches focus on the importance of early relationship, and...