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These days, sexual issues are everywhere. Parents shake their heads at the sexy ads and billboards, the sexual jokes in sitcoms, the sexual scenes on daytime television, and the explicit and often vulgar dialogue in afternoon talk shows. Parents can't even count on the news to be safe to watch: daily reports include horror stories about incest, rape, and sexual scandal.
The low point for many families came when the sexual transgressions of President Clinton were a regular feature of nightly newscasts. During impeachment proceedings, young children innocently asked their parents about oral sex and the stains on "that woman's" dress. Parents found they became flustered trying to explain terms and acts that they had hoped would never come up in conversation.
This was the moment when millions of parents across the nation realized that they did not have the tools to conduct a conversation with their children about sexuality.
SEX ED IS NOT ENOUGH
Many parents feel embarrassed and ill-equipped to handle discussions about sexual topics. Some just hope these topics will never come up, while others rely on school-based sexuality education to provide their children with information and guidance.
These parents often discover that school-based sexuality education, while very important, is not enough. Today, in fact, American schools face strong political pressure to limit the scope of sexuality education. As a result, the sexuality education most students in the United States receive usually covers such topics as "fallopian tubes" and the "sperm and egg chase." Teachers, however, shy away from potentially value-laden discussions, such as how to interpret the sex scenes on just about every program on television, for fear that such discussions may cross the line into teaching moral and family beliefs.
Only parents can share unique family values. If their children are lucky enough to attend a school that teaches comprehensive sexuality education, so much the better. But school lessons-no matter how comprehensive-are not a replacement for talks in the home.
Not only are most kids not getting the factual information about sexuality from school, they are not getting their family beliefs or rules there. They cannot. Only parents can provide this perspective.
Susan Coots, sexuality education consultant, Syracuse, NY In reality, parents should be available to discuss family values...