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Christmas is here again, costing the economy and the NHS billions - and Santa will need a safety harness for that hazardous flue descent, says Iain Murray
The readers of Marketing Week are busy people and cannot hope to keep up with all the regulations governing Christmas. That is why we have compiled this handy guide, and consider ourselves exceptionally fortunate in having persuaded the Rt Hon. Patricia Hewitt to provide an introduction:
"Christmas is a happy time and we want everyone to enjoy themselves. But, you know, we have to be absolutely certain, and I make no apologies for this, that the festive season is not unnecessarily marred by needless and avoidable accidents. That is why we have drawn up guidelines and an action plan to help you, the ordinary people. It is in everyone's interest to read this carefully and to keep a copy handy over the holiday period. Be festive by all means, but remember it is important that we modernise Christmas in an exciting, new, progressive, forward-looking way that we as a nation can take pride in."
Paper cuts. These cost the economy pound 3m a year in lost hours. Follow a few simple rules when unwrapping gifts: wear safety gloves, but avoid scissors or knives and never use your teeth.
String. Before tackling string, consult the leaflet produced by the Parcels Advisory Bureau. Do not...