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A word of advice: Even if you know you're driving too fast, and even if the guy who tries to pull you over yells that he's a policeman and you must stop or be placed under arrest, if his scepter of authority - or maybe his "alternative sidearm?" - is a 10-inch barbecue fork, he's probably not a real cop, so keep driving and hope for the best.
According to police in Pompano Beach, FIa., 69-year-old Howard Schultz actually got at least one motorist to pull over when he loudly identified himself as a police officer and waved his barbecue fork at 'em. The motorist didn't even recall exactly what Howard was yakkin' at him about while he was stopped, but believably said he feared for his life as Howie waved that big fork at him. The victim was finally released on his own recognizance and called the real cops. They found Howard pointing his fork at other drivers and arrested him for aggravated assault, impersonating an officer, and probably some kind of food-preparation offense.
I think I'll stick to pointing an old...