Myths of expatriate life

When my husband announced that his employer, a mid-sized computer software firm, wanted to send him to Paris as acting country manager for a year, pleasant memories returned of a vacation spent in Parisian cafes and art museums. But those romantic visions quickly disappeared as my practical side began contemplating the realities of moving our 4-year-old son, my consulting practice, and university teaching work to another country. During my human resource career, I had created and implemented expatriate programs to help employees and their families face the challenges of foreign assignments. I therefore thought I was well-prepared for what lay ahead. But I soon discovered the difference between theory and reality. In particular, I learned that expatriates, their "trailing partners" (a term I came to detest), and their children are victims of six common myths held by employers.

Myth 1 They're in Western Europe, not a Third World country. How difficult can it be?

Many U.S. expatriates I met overseas were frustrated because their employers downplayed the challenges they faced in adjusting to life and work abroad. These expatriates were tired of hearing comments from homebound colleagues such as "Yes, it must be tough not to be able to find an English-speaking doctor. But, hey, you are in Paris, you must shop all the time!" To someone living in a city where the exchange rate and valueadded tax make everyday items 60 percent more expensive (a McDonald's Happy Meal was $6!) this type of comment can be demoralizing.

Many colleagues do not realize that the inefficiency and lack of customer service that seems quaint during a vacation becomes increasingly frustrating when encountered daily. Imagine not being able to get utilities turned on in your new home because you have not learned "the system" or moving into an apartment with bare light bulbs and no kitchen sink and discovering that these items cost three times more than in the States. Incidentally, the French believe that it is presumptuous to make interior design decisions about light fixtures or kitchen appliances for tenants.

Another common frustration is the practice by some employers of paying expatriates only in U.S. dollars. Dealing with very different banking rules and fluctuating exchange rates is incredibly time-consuming and stressful for expatriates, who need...